Thursday, June 25, 2009

Anonymous Fails Christianity 101

Oh, of all the things I could write about, oh, this one struck me as the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. I got a bunch of comments from some "Anonymous" on my last post. Anonymous is someone I'm sure who's too afraid to post with an ID, mainly because they have no valid argument to counter mine, and they know it.

While talking about Sanford's humanity, and his failure to live up to his own moral code, I said and I quote,
Instead, I'm sure Mr. Ensign and Mr. Sanford are blaming Satan, the scapegoat for everything, for their failings. That's the problem with religions like Christianity. They promote the belief that one is not responsible for their actions, that bad things are done by the devil (or by people influenced by the devil) and that if they only put aside their reason, that Jesus will make it all better by a simple thought in their head that he's a god and came to earth to save them, like some kind of superhero.
To which Anonymous responded,

Wrong, again. Do you just make this stuff up while you tap away in Starbucks? When you include a statement like that it just collapses the reader's belief that you have any capacity to reason.

First of all, I hate Starbucks. They burn their coffee. Quite frankly, the coffee at our local bookstore is much better and they roast the beans fresh every day. But I digress. You see, Anonymous fails Christianity 101. The main tenet of Christianity is that it doesn't matter what you do, what actions you perform, bad or good, all that matters is that you think in your head that Jesus has "saved" you. If you have murdered a million people and then "accept the Lord Jesus" into your heart, you're going to heaven because Jesus absolves all sins no matter how bad. But if you don't believe in Jesus, you're going to burn in the lake of fire for all eternity, no matter how good of a life you've lived or how many charitable acts you've done. Now, the more moderate Christians tend to gloss this over, especially Unitarians, who try to be inclusive. But the doctrine is still there, they just don't harp on it, like say, the Southern Baptists.

I can't make this shit up. I've lived among too many Christian Fundamentalists for that. I know verbatim what they say. I know all of their arguments, and all of their weak refutations which always go back to a belief in Jesus. And if Anonymous thinks that one can be saved without a simple belief in Jesus, I don't know what religion he or she thinks they're talking about, but it isn't Christianity.

Finally, with the reference to Starbucks, I'm sure Anonymous thinks I'm a "latte sipping liberal" and that's a red flag that he or she gets their news from Faux and listens to Rush daily. What he or she doesn't realize, is that I hate both the Republicans and the Democrats. I don't believe the left or the right. I despise them all equally because I think they're all fucked up. I don't take anyone's side, save my own, and that of the impoverished and the oppressed. I don't need to take sides with politicians who are lying rats and who are born with a silver spoon up their ass. It's really too bad that all these people who claim to be Christian, don't bother to read one iota of what Jesus actually said, and then actually *gasp* go do it. You know, about taking care of the poor, social justice and all that. About going into your closet to pray, instead of standing on the street corner like hypocrites. Oh, but that would mean that they'd have actually had to read the Bible and comprehend it and think about it, instead of listening to people like Rush, Coulter and Malkin telling them what to think.

And I don't sip lattes.


  1. Don't you just love trolls who can't be decent?

    Nice snap (and condescending) judgment about AWQM, anonymous. Which is buttressed, anonymous, by your verbatim comment that AWQM "makes stuff up" (i.e. lies) while "tapping away at Starbucks" (while being an elitist/young/stuck up snob).

    Ad hominem: the only way to troll.

    If you are so threatened by someone's take on your theology, it makes you seem like you don't have very strong beliefs. No one can knock your legs out from under you if you are standing firmly on them. Shaky, shaky, anonymous.

    BTW: Nice to see you back, AWQM. I hope you had a great trip!

  2. Thanks Skyewriter! I had a fantastic trip. The French Pyrenees were awesome. :D

  3. As someone who had a fundamentalist upbringing I can say without reservation that you are entirely correct in your theological assessment. The New Testament says quite unequivocally that without accepting Jesus as one's savior one is going to Hell, no matter what good deeds one may have done in one's life. Hell awaits all who are not washed in the redemptive blood of Jesus sacrifice, and that blood wipes away all sins one committed beforehand. Now, this should humble most people, and a lot of Christians are humbled by this theological thaumaturgy, but most are emboldend by it to do and say outrageous things that are nowhere to found in their theology or in their Bible. Yes, you may be saved by grace and can never be lost again, but that doesn't mean you are absolved of your repsonsibility to be good examples of christian living and witnesses to Jesus' sacrifice and love for all people. Now, I'm not saying I believe this stuff, but it is in the Bible, so there's no excuse for anyone who claims to be a Christian not to know or understand it.

    Welcome back. I've missed your blogs!

  4. This is can call me Helen of Troy, I guess....the post that launched a thousand responses. I throw out a one or two liner and I get a term paper response! I hope I didn't mean to steam up your Keith Olbermann style designer glasses.

  5. The churches are half empty. Why don't you come and join us...there is always room for one more hypocrite.

  6. Hey skywriter, why don't you take Zirgar aside and teach him some English. It must be a 2nd language for him. He seems to be limited to locker room vulgarity and explitives. Funny that you pay so much attention to ad hominem attacks...for more check out Zirgar's site. You won't have to work so hard to extrapolate them.

  7. @Anonymous, Did you flunk out of college? Because if you think that four and a half paragraphs is a term paper, well, that's just Lulz.

    I notice you have no real response or counter-argument to anything I've said. Your not-so-witty "one or two liners" make you look like an idiot and a troll. But hey, if that's what you're going for, by all means, have at it.

    And yet more ad hominem attacks. I am not a hypocrite, because I *gasp* practice what I preach. And I don't go to church because a.) I'm not Christian, and b.) I don't like hanging out with hypocrites. Apparently the churches are half empty because there are plenty of other people in this country who despise hypocrites too.

    Did you even read Zirgar's post? Because there was no "vulgarity and explitives [sic]" in it, nor ad hominem attacks. The only thing that Zirgar did, was he must have pushed your buttons. Deep down, you have to know that what he says is true, but you don't want to admit it.

  8. Take a look at Zirgar's blog, then get back to me with your apology.

    He's a phony...he comes on your blog dressed in a tuxedo, meanwhile back on his blog he wears a wife beater tank top and leaves the toilet seat up.

  9. @Anonymous, Do you have anything worthwhile to say or do you just have too much time on your hands and like to spend it insulting people? I've read Zirgar's blog, and find it amusing and relevant.

  10. Well, I see you've picked up a troll. I know that these "people" come in and post comments to get the author and the readers riled up, but I'm starting to wonder if we should treat them for what they are. You know, kinda like that little brother or sister who was a pain in the ass when we were growing up, the one's we use to ignore. Because if we ignore them long enough, they go away. Just a thought.

  11. @Grandpa, yes I realize now he's just a troll because he really had nothing to say. I'm not going to waste my time responding to people who post and have no point.